Jennifer Aniston Lolavie

Jen, how you doin‘? (And yes, Brad Pitt’s an idiot). This Wednesday will see Jennifer launches her first fragrance, Lolavie, which will be exclusively sold at Harrods in London. (Rest of the world can only wait)

Brilliant ad campaign as you can see. But creeping under the facade of these beautiful images lies a phenomenal problem that is facing the perfume industry. The nondescript perfume which thrives solely due to the watts of its endorsement star.

In Jennifer’s own words, Lolavie is “a non-perfume perfume, sexy and clean. Floral, but not too flowery.” Wow, as good as wearing, say, none?! Are you sure you are not talking about Herbal Essences?

So yeah. The bland, souless perfume is currently my biggest problem with the industry. I recently interviewed a guy who owns a vintage perfume shop. He happily sprayed a few old samples on his and my wrists. And those scents were very identifiable and you can almost tell a story of the wearer just from the odour.

The man’s wife told me that, “I love Christian Dior’s Dune. It smells spicy, kicky and fierce”. The word “fierce” is not used in the over-utilised context in 2010. By fierce, the man’s wife meant untamed, wild and Christy Turlington in a cat-woman suit kind of fierce. You can almost imagine a woman in an Oscar de la Renta gown at the Natural History Museum, swigging a neat whisky while cracking witty jokes to senators and presidents.

The husband and wife team spoke of the millennium perfume with such disdain, that “they [the perfumiers] even use orange and cucumber!” This pretty much detailed the laziness of the new generation perfumiers.

Gone were the days when Jean-Paul Guerlain sailed to an exotic island, picked up a bunch of unidentified flowers and transformed them into an elixir. “Mmm, let’s pop down the supermarket and see what’s there”, is the mentality of today’s commercial, fast-result perfume industry.

Would it surprise me if we get Wagyu beef or fried egg  scents in the future? Let’s hope Marc Jacobs stops at fruits and macaroons.

Anyway for now, I am still a No.5 or the original Poison girl.

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