The news one hears one day can sometimes be hard to stomach. I am compiling a list of Crazy World news on Twitter (#CrazyWorld), and we’ll see when will the world get sick of the randy brand diversion eh?
1: Valentino designs T-shirt. It’s pretty tough to believe the house which produces £8000 mink throw, £100,000 couture gowns and dresses for Elizabeth Taylor will come to designing accompaniment to mine workers’ jeans. Read more on fashionologie.com.
2. Gucci to design couture gowns. Last time I check a house can only call their products “couture” if they can pass the stringent criteria set by the official couture board in France. I want to know: how much of a gown is handmade and secondly, will Gucci flex their fashion muscles to hoax the strict Frenchmen into accepting their propositions? On a completely different note, Frida Gianni has dressed Selma Hayek, Kate Beckinsale and Camilla Belle on the Cannes red carpet. These are possibly the best walking mannequins you can get to promote your company’s new agenda eh? Crazy, crazy!
3. Ashley Olsen to design furnitures? Running a successful multi-million pound fashion house, The Row is clearly not enough to fill the Olsen twins’ insatiable appetite in world domination. Some has even suggested that they will find somebody else to design their fashion, and the siblings will focus on their furniture. Gosh. What’s next?
4. While we’re on entertainment, Beyoncé has plans to design homewares. Maybe if I were a boy, I’ll want a Beyoncé spoon so I can spoon her whenever I eat. Now seriously… Beyoncé and household chores? Designing a butler maybe a more credible job for you hun, for a doubt you even know how do kitchen utensils fit in the dishwasher…
5. Harrods is sold? I cannot imagine Harrods without al-Fayed. And for him to not mill around the shop floor whenever he fancies and greets shoppers anymore, that just takes away the fun of shopping at Harrods, no? But £1.5 billion, which is £1,500,000,000 if you must, I guess al-Fayed can buy a very nice retirement place indeed!
6. Prada tea? The editors such as Jo Elvin of Glamour, Jess Cartner-Morley of Guardian and Lorraine Candy of Elle have been boasting the calmness a little Prada tea bag brings. Following the brand’s expansion into mobile phone in collaboration with LG, don’t know who makes the Prada tea? Care to place a bet? PG, Yorkshire or Twinnings? Don’t think it’ll be Tetley, if I’m honest!
7. This one must have sunken in already cos this is really old news: Armani and Versace both have their branded hotel in Dubai. The last guest you want will be Ross from Friends, seeing how an Armani bathrobe will set you back £200. And will they security tag every items in their rooms? Armani’s rooms have more to lose, as every items can be purchased… Can I have an Armani toilet roll please? Just one bit of info: is the roll made of silk?
8. The size zero issue: Marie Claire UK appoints a plus size columnist, which is a good sign to combat insecurity issues in teenage girls. After all, all of us are born in different shapes and sizes and as a trained Biochemist, I can tell you there’s nothing we can do about our natural and basal metabolism.
At the same time, the country which has produced some of the finest models of our catwalks today – Abbey Lee Kershaw and Miranda Kerr – has asked a 120lb, Australia’s Next Top Model contestant to lose some pounds. Unless she is 4 foot 3 and aged 3 year-old, I’d say the request is pretty immoral. Having said that, Australia is known to be quite tardy in picking up any new fashion trend. Editor in Chief of Vogue Australia condemned the rise of internet bloggers in an article in The Australian. I hope no one reads Susie Bubble’s tweet as she was the one to link the article. But oops, unlikely, and ranging wars against the man is a futile as crying over spilled water. Waste of effort. There, I’m slashing the Australian fashion world. (Those bus stop adverts, what, Aussie Pants? Who gives a fuck?)
9. Models as writers. Modelina has reported that Miranda Kerr is about to finish her book titled “Treasure Beauty”, or something. This one is about all women have insecurities (including the Victoria’s angel herself. Oh really?!) and recipes for healthy eating etc. If I can eat away to look like Miranda I’ll place an order on the hardback straight away.
Tyra Banks is also penning a book on “Modelland”. I read about what the book is about but I forgot. Forgive me. But I don’t think you should look it up.
I am one item away from collecting 10. If you know any crazy news to complete the list, hit the comment button below…